Thoughts of a Green Monkey

The Green Monkey - Rusty Sutton Owner

2011-09-21T23:16:00.000-04:00

In just three weeks....

2011-09-01T22:18:00.003-04:00

At The Green Monkey store, we have just three weeks left before we close on Sunday, September 18 for the NC State Fair. Our customers have made our first full year in our new inside location our best year ever! Many of you have been shopping with us since we began under a tent outside in 2007!

From the beginning, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt there was a need and desire to have a store where customers could shop for items that expressed their diversity, tolerance and that all families matter! I remember some of the reactions I received in the beginning. They ranged from disgust to total shock that we were at the Raleigh Flea Market! Now we get an abundance of “So glad you are here!”, “Gosh, I love your store!” I love this store too! It makes me so happy to hear that so many of you love it!

We have added and subtracted many product lines since the beginning. Two of my favorite products have vanished from our store due to the digital age. We no longer carry any DVDs or books. Unfortunately, new technology has been embraced by most of us that are making those items obsolete. Other product lines that we have brought on board have flourished in our small boutique environment. We are very proud that most of our products are from small companies from our area! Our Real World Products, Be a Friend t-shirts, Art by LeGrant postcards, and Kommon Scents Candles are all small companies based in the Raleigh-Durham, NC area. Our Think Happy Stuff products are based in Franklin, TN, our PRIDE jewelry comes from Florida & Rhode Island and the Peacemonger (COEXIST) brand is based out of California. Real World, Be a Friend, Think Happy Stuff and Peacemonger all donate a portion of proceeds from their sales to children, equality and peaceful charities.

This year we embarked on a Spring Festival Tour that began in Raleigh with the 1st Annual OutRaleigh festival. What an extraordinary event! I was honored to be one of the co-chairs of that event! We participated in AIDSWALK & Ride 2011 with a walking team and a booth at the event. Our team raised over $500. We participated in Triad Pride in Greensboro! We ended our Spring Tour on June 23 at the 1st Annual OBX PrideFest in Nags Head, NC! A big shout out to all of my friends that helped us out at the OutRaleigh festival and OBX PrideFest! Without our friends we couldn’t have done it!!!

This fall we will embark on a four city Fall Festival tour! We will kick off this tour at NC PRIDE in Durham NC on Sept 24! Then we travel to Catawba Valley Pride on Oct 1 and Winston Salem Pride on Oct 15. On Oct 8-9, we will be a vendor at the 31st Annual MUMFEST 2011 in New Bern NC!

Drew and I love traveling to different cities and meeting all The Green Monkey fans in other cities and hopefully attracting new fans! Our Facebook has grown to over 675 fans! We have over 200 followers on Twitter! Keep on helping us spread the word.

The Green Monkey store will return to our home at the Raleigh Flea Market on Saturday, November 5th in our Renewed, Refreshed and Remodeled store! Thank you for such a great year and helping me realizes my dream that is The Green Monkey.

Willing to die for it?

2010-02-27T16:15:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, a friend shared a story with me about a sister of a friend of hers. The sister, a diabetic, ignored the doctor’s advice about her eating habits and now she is on dialysis 3 days a week. She is in the hospital every other week trying to find a new vein to use and she is losing her eye sight. Is food so important to us that we’re willing to die for it?

My father is an overweight 70+ year old man. He had a heart attack in the early 90s. Three years ago, he had a five bypass open heart surgery. He eats fried pork tenderloin every morning for breakfast. He eats chopped pork, and almost anything fried! He doesn’t exercise. On several occasions, I have asked him if the satisfaction of the food he eats outweighs the pain he felt after his surgery.

In 2007, at age 41, I was diagnosed with the very early stages of colon cancer. At the same time, I was diagnosed with the genetic disorder called Lynch Syndrome. Lynch Syndrome means you have a gene that causes colon cancer. It is passed down from your parents and their parents. As I prepared myself for my surgery, I researched all I could about colon cancer. Every article I read and every doctor I spoke to told me that obesity didn’t help at all! I also discovered that if I had been smaller and healthier I could have had laparoscopic colon resection which would have minimized my postoperative pain and a quicker recovery.

The surgery was successful. I even lost 20+ pounds. However, within 3 months after the surgery I had gained the 20 pounds I lost plus some!! I hit 350 pounds! The heaviest I have ever been. My eating was out of control. My body ached. My energy level was non-existent. And clothes were getting harder and harder to find in my size. I remember thinking to myself, “How much bigger can I get? Am I just going to explode one day?” Then I thought, “If I can beat cancer I be damned if I am going to let obesity kill me!”

This week I celebrated my first year anniversary as a member of Weight Watchers. I have lost 93 pounds during my first year. I have 68 more pounds to go to achieve my goal.

During the past year, I have learned that I can eat healthier and enjoy it. I can eat healthier and be satisfied. Eating healthy is actually more interesting than eating the other way! I now add colorful veggies to every meal. I discovered veggies I didn’t even know existed! There are some meals where no meat is involved!

I have not eliminated any of my favorite foods! I’ve just made some adjustments. If I have pizza, I have two or three slices not the entire pie. I love Kraft Deluxe Macaroni and Cheese, I still eat it! I just don’t eat the entire box. I love birthday cake and ice cream and I still eat it! I just don’t have the entire cake and not everyday!

There are foods that I consider trigger foods such as the birthday cake and even pizza. I try to stay away from those items when the portions are not limited. For instance, I don’t do pizza buffets because I still don’t have the control I need to stop. I never said that I was perfect. I know my limits and try not to put myself in those situations. I hope one day I’ll be strong enough to do it but until I do, I’ll stay away.

My goal is to relate to food as a fuel not a reward. I enjoy eating. And I can still eat a lot of food. Before I would eat until I felt like I was going to explode! I have learned to recognize being satisfied versus gorging myself!

I have been cancer free for 2 years and counting! My high blood pressure medication has been cut in half. My doctor predicts that it will be eliminated in the near future. I am no longer a borderline diabetic. I have a more restful sleep. I’m happier because my self confidence is much stronger. And in my private life…..well use your imagination!

My battle with overeating is not over. And it will never be over because I am an overeater. The difference is I no longer live to eat but eat to live!

One Day Soon No Family Will Be Considered Controversial

2010-01-24T22:26:00.007-05:00

This weekend, as the owner of The Green Monkey, The Alternative Family Store, I was told that I was too controversial to participate in a live broadcast of WPTF’s The Weekend Gardener radio show. The show was broadcasting live from the Raleigh Flea Market where our store is located. During the broadcast several of us that have stores at the market were asked to be a part of the broadcast at specific times by flea market management. (Our times were scheduled a week in advance by flea market management). When I arrived for my scheduled time, I was told by flea market management that the radio station’s “upper management” refused to allow me to go on the show because an alternative family store/gay pride store was too controversial!

Immediately I thought back to 1980 when the state of UTAH banned Olivia Newton John’s hit single, Physical, from being played on radio stations! I must admit, I found this amusing. Wait a minute, we are in year 2010!! OMG! Now, families are controversial!

If you have read other blogs posted by me you will be familiar with my saying, just because your family looks different than mine doesn’t mean that my family is wrong. As one of our T-shirts we sell states, Love Is All It Take To Make A Family. A family can be a single parent, a bi-racial couple, a couple with adopted children, a couple with no children, two mommies or two daddies. Families come in all shapes and sizes. All families deserve to be treated equal and respected. What in the world is controversial about that?

This week the Supreme Court past judgment to no longer limit corporations’ and individuals’ donation to political candidates based on the First Amendment; however, this is the same Court that says it’s OK for individual states to discriminate against same-sex couples who want marriage equality. What is wrong with this picture!!

Now, please understand that WPTF had every right to not allow me on their program. It’s their radio station. However, they missed a great opportunity to acknowledge the diversity in our community and to spread the education of tolerance and acceptance.

I have the right to tell everyone I know about this situation. It will be up to each person to decide what they do with this information. I’m an owner of a very small store that is opened two days a week at a local flea market where all families are welcomed. No matter if they look different.

Are You A Size Queen?

2010-01-14T23:20:00.001-05:00

Are you a size queen? Is size what you judge on?

In the gay community, size is everything. If you don’t fit the “right” size you don’t belong. Just read personal ads and you’ll see words like, “no fats”, HWP (height, weight proportionate), or “if your belly hangs over…”. And sometime you’ll even see “chubby chaser”. Unfortunately, discrimination against overweight men and women isn’t exclusive to the Gay community.

I have been an overweight man for most of my adult life. There were a few “skinny” years during the mid-eighties but they didn’t last long. I have been ignored at parties. I have been ridiculed. All because of my size.

During the past year, I have been on my own weight loss journey. I have met some great people of size through message boards, social networks and at my WW meetings. All of these friends have been an integral part of my weight loss success. We have given each other advice, a shoulder to lean on, and celebrated our successes together. We have seen our bodies change. Many of us have lost between 75 and 100 pounds. Some of us are becoming HWP. Will we become size queens?

I’m hoping that as our bodies become more attractive we will remember that our size did not tell our whole story. Perhaps we can lead by example and teach others that wonderful people don’t always wear a size 2.

Are We Afraid?

2010-01-03T21:07:00.000-05:00

Today in my store, The Green Monkey, a friend of mine stopped by to visit. We were talking about how I could make more of the LGBT community aware of my store and entice them to visit. He made a comment that many of our community are afraid of being found “out” which in turn could hinder some potential customers from patronizing The Green Monkey. As we begin the second decade of the 21st century, are there still brothers and sisters of the LGBT community that are afraid?

We now have 6 states in our Union that recognize gay marriages. We have had celebrities publicly proclaim their endorsement of gay marriages. Could it be that some of us are afraid?

We now have a federal hate crime bill with specific language that protects people based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Several states, including NC, have an anti-bullying law that protects gay students. Are we afraid?

During the past couple of decades we have seen positive images of gay people in our hit television shows, movies and plays. No longer does Hollywood depict all gay characters dealing with HIV/AIDS. Are we afraid?

We now have 46 states in our Union that does not recognize gay marriages. We have had several states vote down our civil liberties. Should we be afraid?

In most states, including NC, you can be fired from your job for being gay. My partner was once fired from his job for being gay. Should we be afraid?

There are still gay people young and old being harassed and beaten because of what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom. Should we be afraid?

When a community paper ran the story about The Green Monkey being the first Alternative Family Store at the Raleigh Flea Market I received an email saying I should be ashamed and stop shoving my lifestyle in their face and their children’s face. Am I afraid?

Together we stand. Divided we fall. As a community let’s stand together and let our voices be heard. Are we afraid?

Thoughts of a Green Monkey: Gay Is Not Sex

2009-12-31T07:11:00.000-05:00

Thoughts of a Green Monkey: Gay Is Not Sex

Gay Is Not Sex

2009-12-30T22:43:00.000-05:00

For so many years, the word gay has been synonymous with sex. Is that our fault? Is it the fault of the media? We could place blame on us, on the media, on our parents, on society or just about anywhere we wanted. But, what good would that do.

In the 90s we changed our title from lovers to partners. During the past decade some of us went from being partners to being two mommies, two daddies, and in some states we are now legally married. We are the alternative family.

This is the reason I started The Green Monkey, an alternative family store. I wanted a family friendly store where the focus isn’t on sex but the alternative family unit. A store that promotes positive images of our families. A store where everyone can shop!

First Alternative Family Store At Raleigh Flea Market

2009-12-30T22:35:00.001-05:00

The Green Monkey is the first and only alternative family store at the Raleigh Flea Market offering products that promote a positive image for the alternative family. “Most other shops have more of an adult theme. At the Monkey, we celebrate families!” says Rusty Sutton, the owner of The Green Monkey. The most popular products are children’s books about alternative families, diversity and individuality. We carry hard to find titles such as the highly acclaimed book “And Tango Makes Three” by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson based on the true story of two male penguins in New York’s Central Zoo that form a relationship are mainstays at The Green Monkey. Other authors we offer are Todd Parr, Leslea Newman, Nancy Garden and many others.

After two successful years as an outside vendor, the business now operates from an inside building space at the end of the Market’s “Restaurant Row”. “I take great pride in welcoming Rusty Sutton’s Green Monkey to the indoor flea market family!” Marshall Stewart, General Manager of the Raleigh Flea Market says proudly.

Several product lines have been expanded and new ones added. Magnets and greeting cards from Village Lighthouse and an exciting new local company, Real World Products debuted during The Green Monkey’s opening weekend. The book selections have been expanded to include general fiction. Home décor selections will be added in the fall.

“We now have a storefront that offers a fun and exciting shopping environment for everyone in our community including families”, says Rusty Sutton, the owner. “Weather is not an issue. We now have a real storefront that happens to be at a flea market.”

The Green Monkey is open every Saturday & Sunday from 9-6 and is now available by appointment Monday through Friday 9-6. For more information: at www.thegreenmonkeyonline.com or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A04inweY4M

Let Your Rainbows Shine!

2009-12-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

I remember growing up in a small tobacco town in Eastern NC and how terrified I was of someone finding out I was a gay. There were times when I felt so alone and isolated. Was something wrong with me? Were there others like me?

On television, I remember hearing Anita Bryant declare how bad homosexuals were. Homosexuals will burn in hell. I remember asking my mom, “Do gay people really go to hell?” She replied irritably, “Why do you ask?” I quickly changed the subject and never asked again.

One of my first exposures to the “gay lifestyle” was watching the television show, “SOAP”, with Billy Crystal as the flamboyant Jodie Dallas. But, he dressed in his Mom’s clothes and wanted to have a sex change operation. Hold it right there! I didn’t want to be a girl! Didn’t have a female trapped in my body. I just liked looking at men with hairy chest!! This added to my confusion.

One day a friend of mine started talking with me. We talked about things, gay things. We even explored things with each other. Oh my god! I wasn’t by myself! There was, at least, one more like me. I wasn’t by myself. I had a friend that had the same urges as me.

Looking back, I realize how blessed I was to have a friend that was like me. I had someone I could share my feelings and questions. Everyone is not that lucky. And back then no one “advertised”.

Yes! We all should show our PRIDE! And not just one time a year at a festival. Let our PRIDE shine everyday of every year! There may be a young boy or girl that is feeling alone and isolated until they see a friend wearing a rainbow bracelet or button. Don’t be ashamed of who you are! God makes no mistakes. Let your rainbows shine!

Rusty Sutton is the owner of an alternative family store in Raleigh, NC called “The Green Monkey”. You are invited to learn more about The Green Monkey at http://www.thegreenmonkeyonline.com

Just Like You

2009-12-30T22:20:00.000-05:00

A handsome guy is walking down main street anywhere in the US. A pretty girl walks up to him and strikes up a conversation. She asks him out on a date. He agrees.

A handsome guy is walking down main street anywhere in the US. Another handsome guy walks up to him and strikes up a conversation. He asks him out on a date. The first handsome guy beats the hell out of the second handsome guy.

What is the difference? Why wouldn’t the guy be flattered that someone found him interesting enough to ask him out on a date.

I just viewed a video from, The Ellen DeGeneres show from February 2008 about the 15 year 8th grader that was shot by another male 8th grader because he asked him to be his Valentine. I began to cry as I watched and heard the story. I remember as a young boy being taunted by others because I was different. I didn’t really understand the feelings I was feeling but obviously they did. They called me the ugly f*g word. They called me sissy. And I was beat up a couple of times. Nothing severe but still hit because I was different. That was in the 70s. Now in the 2000s kids are being murdered!! My god, people this must stop!

Gay people are not second class citizens. Some of us are Christians just like you. Some of us are atheist just like you. Some of us are fat, some of us are little, some of us are crazy, some of us are smarter, just like you! Some of us have been in a loving relationship for 20+ years just like you. Some of us have been in several relationships just like you. Some of us have children just like you.
We deserve to live just like you.

Shoving It!

2009-12-30T22:14:00.001-05:00

Back in July when my store, The Green Monkey moved into our new storefront I sent out press releases to area newspapers. The small community newspaper, The Cleveland Post, ran the story along with some pictures of the new store. A day after the newspaper article ran I received my first “hate homosexuals” email from an anonymous female reader. (Aren’t they always anonymous?!) Her email stated that I should be ashamed of myself and that I would burn in hell for what I was doing. She also stated that she was tired of homosexuals shoving their lifestyle in her face and in her children’s face.

I wondered why she thought my store would be shoving any lifestyle in her face or anyone’s face for that matter. Isn’t it the heterosexuals that are shoving their lifestyle in our face! Everywhere you turn you see heterosexual couples enjoying themselves and living their lives, openly and without ridicule. You see them in the parks, in restaurants, in commercials, in print advertising, in the movies and read about them in books! When was the last time you saw a commercial depicting a homosexual couple on one of the BIG national networks? How many Family Christian Bookstores are there in your area compared to an Alternative Family Store? So, who is doing the shoving here?

Our families may look different but our family is built on a foundation of love just like theirs. All families deserve to be recognized and respected. My vision is one day to see an alternative family store on every street corner, too! I am very proud to be an owner of a store where two Mommies or two Daddies can bring their children to find books and more about their family!