One Day Soon No Family Will Be Considered Controversial

This weekend, as the owner of The Green Monkey, The Alternative Family Store, I was told that I was too controversial to participate in a live broadcast of WPTF’s The Weekend Gardener radio show. The show was broadcasting live from the Raleigh Flea Market where our store is located. During the broadcast several of us that have stores at the market were asked to be a part of the broadcast at specific times by flea market management. (Our times were scheduled a week in advance by flea market management). When I arrived for my scheduled time, I was told by flea market management that the radio station’s “upper management” refused to allow me to go on the show because an alternative family store/gay pride store was too controversial!

Immediately I thought back to 1980 when the state of UTAH banned Olivia Newton John’s hit single, Physical, from being played on radio stations! I must admit, I found this amusing. Wait a minute, we are in year 2010!! OMG! Now, families are controversial!

If you have read other blogs posted by me you will be familiar with my saying, just because your family looks different than mine doesn’t mean that my family is wrong. As one of our T-shirts we sell states, Love Is All It Take To Make A Family. A family can be a single parent, a bi-racial couple, a couple with adopted children, a couple with no children, two mommies or two daddies. Families come in all shapes and sizes. All families deserve to be treated equal and respected. What in the world is controversial about that?

This week the Supreme Court past judgment to no longer limit corporations’ and individuals’ donation to political candidates based on the First Amendment; however, this is the same Court that says it’s OK for individual states to discriminate against same-sex couples who want marriage equality. What is wrong with this picture!!

Now, please understand that WPTF had every right to not allow me on their program. It’s their radio station. However, they missed a great opportunity to acknowledge the diversity in our community and to spread the education of tolerance and acceptance.

I have the right to tell everyone I know about this situation. It will be up to each person to decide what they do with this information. I’m an owner of a very small store that is opened two days a week at a local flea market where all families are welcomed. No matter if they look different.

Are You A Size Queen?

Are you a size queen? Is size what you judge on?

In the gay community, size is everything. If you don’t fit the “right” size you don’t belong. Just read personal ads and you’ll see words like, “no fats”, HWP (height, weight proportionate), or “if your belly hangs over…”. And sometime you’ll even see “chubby chaser”. Unfortunately, discrimination against overweight men and women isn’t exclusive to the Gay community.

I have been an overweight man for most of my adult life. There were a few “skinny” years during the mid-eighties but they didn’t last long. I have been ignored at parties. I have been ridiculed. All because of my size.

During the past year, I have been on my own weight loss journey. I have met some great people of size through message boards, social networks and at my WW meetings. All of these friends have been an integral part of my weight loss success. We have given each other advice, a shoulder to lean on, and celebrated our successes together. We have seen our bodies change. Many of us have lost between 75 and 100 pounds. Some of us are becoming HWP. Will we become size queens?

I’m hoping that as our bodies become more attractive we will remember that our size did not tell our whole story. Perhaps we can lead by example and teach others that wonderful people don’t always wear a size 2.

Are We Afraid?

Today in my store, The Green Monkey, a friend of mine stopped by to visit. We were talking about how I could make more of the LGBT community aware of my store and entice them to visit. He made a comment that many of our community are afraid of being found “out” which in turn could hinder some potential customers from patronizing The Green Monkey. As we begin the second decade of the 21st century, are there still brothers and sisters of the LGBT community that are afraid?

We now have 6 states in our Union that recognize gay marriages. We have had celebrities publicly proclaim their endorsement of gay marriages. Could it be that some of us are afraid?

We now have a federal hate crime bill with specific language that protects people based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Several states, including NC, have an anti-bullying law that protects gay students. Are we afraid?

During the past couple of decades we have seen positive images of gay people in our hit television shows, movies and plays. No longer does Hollywood depict all gay characters dealing with HIV/AIDS. Are we afraid?

We now have 46 states in our Union that does not recognize gay marriages. We have had several states vote down our civil liberties. Should we be afraid?

In most states, including NC, you can be fired from your job for being gay. My partner was once fired from his job for being gay. Should we be afraid?

There are still gay people young and old being harassed and beaten because of what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom. Should we be afraid?

When a community paper ran the story about The Green Monkey being the first Alternative Family Store at the Raleigh Flea Market I received an email saying I should be ashamed and stop shoving my lifestyle in their face and their children’s face. Am I afraid?

Together we stand. Divided we fall. As a community let’s stand together and let our voices be heard. Are we afraid?